


Dreaming Is Free

by frxrard



Category: Trainspotting (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-11-29 15:56:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11444187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frxrard/pseuds/frxrard
Summary: -An alternate version of T2.In a modern day era, where the world had changed, cars have changed, music has changed, drugs have changed, and yes, even girls and guys have changed. Begbie doesn't like it at all; Mark and Simon decide to play on that. But the game wasn't supposed to get this serious.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Again, this is basically an alternate version of T2. I've tried to keep things as canon as possible but some things are quite different as well. Please don't attack me.  
> I've tried to write with a bit of Scottish dialect but alas, I'm no Scot. I apologise if the dialect isn't accurate but I tried my best and mean no offence to any actual Scottish folk.  
> Hope you enjoy my shite story, I'll try and update regularly and comment your opinions if you want. Compliments, criticism, death threats. I'll take anything.

If ye asked me what I thought me life would be like 10, 20 years into the future, obviously ah wouldnae fuckin' know. Ahm no psychic, an if I was, and knew mah life would've turned out like the way it has, I'd 'av topped mahsel years ago.  
Anyways, 20 years into the future. T'year is 2017; and the main emotion, concept,  
whatever ye wanty call it, is fear. Hopelessness. Uncertainty. No one really knows what's around the corner, ahm not even too sure big name politicians know either. We're deep into the aftermath of Brexit, which us Scots want no part of, an' 'av never really got that much into it. Begbie has, ah wish he didn't but fuck me, guy always has to have his fuckin' say, doesn't he? Mind you, ah don't disagree wit any word he says. I'd never admit it to 'im, but cunt nearly always speaks the truth.

Speakin' o' ol' Beggar, cunt's been in jail for t'last 20 years. Only came oot recently an' ah was shitein' his return. I'd robbed him of a shite ton of dosh an' legged it. I'd angered the bastard that much he'd had the polis called on 'im and spent the last 20 years of 'is life banged up. Ah had a reason to shite masel, dint I? Still, ahm alive and well wit no broken bones so all is well I guess; fuck knows.  
Spud is, well, Spud, really. He's still on skag but tryin' his hardest t' get oof it. He ain't been very successful so far but caps off to the man fo' tryin', I spose. Cunt jus' ain't got the willpower; not unlike me or Simon. An' even then, Si is not even a hundred percent clean either. Yea, he's oof the skag but he's jus' moved onty cocaine now. Ahm no even sure which drug is worse.  
Simon doesnae go by Sick Boy anymore, course, we still call him by his ol' name sometimes but that's jus' us. He's been tryin' to reinvent 'imself; failing miserably but canny blame the cunt for trying. Si says that his actual name sounds more businesslike; says we best start using it when his own business gets oof t'ground.  
"C'moarn Simon, you're gonny be a deed man before that sauna business o' yours finds its feet," Begbie taunts him.  
"Sauna, ye daft cunt, ya run a brothel, Si," Ah always tell him.  
Daftie wants a credible business, mah fuckin' arse. Cunt jus' wants an excuse for young pretty burds wirkin' for 'im. Like Christian fuckin' Grey. Some proper Fifty Shades of Grey shite. Found a chick for a girlfriend though work though and gawd, she's a pretty thing too.

At least mah business was credible. Well, technically it weren't mah business, ah jus' worked under it. Ah was an accountant; my job wasnae workin' with half naked burds, although fair play to Simon, 'cause that's what most cunts dream of doing for a job.  
Aside from work, ah had a wife. Someone were actually interested in me enough to 'av a proper relationship wit me. Marry me even. Didnae last though, fuck knows why. She does though; won't tell me. Jus' says that t'spark that we once had was gone; ah lost me temper and screamed at her, summat about a lack of children. She 'ad failed to 'av one kid wit me. Ah jus' wanted one and she couldnae even give me that. She threw me oot on me arse that night.  
So that wis me, homeless in Amsterdam, mah career jus' came to a halt an' wasnae goin' anywhere, ah had no wife anymore, mah family an' who ah used to call me friends were in a completely different country an' ah jus' felt lost. Ah knew it were probably a step backwards but what other choice did ah have, eh?

A literally had no other option, and wit that, it were a flight back to Edinburgh it was. Back on me Ma and father's doorstep wit mah tail between ma legs and mah da's tears in his small eyes. Dad 'ad been all alone since mah mother died. Was a reet blow hearin' that, not being there fer ya family, no' even knowing. Ah wanted to die there an' then but all a did was collapse inty ma Da's arms.

"She'd always knew you'd come back," He whispered into my ear.

Not soon enough, apparently.

After me poor Da, first person ah paid a visit to was dear Spud. Still struggling with a heavy drug addiction and now an overpowering mental illness, ah now felt even more sorry fer the cunt.  
Poor chap, he purely wanted to die. Was actually angry that ah had saved 'im. Ungrateful cunt, ah thought t masel. Ah didnae blame 'im really. Today's world? Fuck me, jus' turning on the news makes me wanty take a fatal overdose. At least Sick Boy, Simon, witever he chooses to call imsel nowadays, seemed to be a lot happier. Well, he seemed it, buh am no too convinced if ahm honest. Yea, he's got a crackin' new girlfriend buh she's gotta be at least half his age; no sure whether that's good fer 'im or not. Simon and Spud; both of 'em 'av got kids but never seem to see 'em. Gail 'as been too careful about the state of Spud's drug habit and 'as since kept 'is wee Fergus away from 'im; an' even Spud thinks that it's fer t'best. Simon's a wee bit more bitter about no ever seeing his kid, or the kid's mother. Ye've gotty feel sorry fer the guy; one kid deed and the other is miles away from 'im.  
Only one of oos who gets to see their wee bairn is Begbie. An' even he's no even wee anymore, Spud always reminds Frank. Again, ah almost feel sorry fer Franco, he's missed his one an' only kid's childhood. He's been locked away fer twenty odd years an' missed it all; ah feel like that's mah fault and going by the way that Begs stares at me half ah the time, it probably is.

Ah only wish ah had a wee bairn. No only did ah never watch one grow up buh ah never even had one in t'first place. An' up until a few years back, av been replacin' that hole in mah life with skag. Mah best friend, mah only friend that never left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy y'all !! I'm back with another sweet post instead of shitposting for a change. Hope you enjoy this update. If you don't just send me hate mail instead.

Every so often Simon will drag me down t'pub for a pint and a few words. None of 'em particularly very important; jus' two lads catchin' up and chattin' shite but today's session were different. Si had this gleam in his eye; ah could sense his longing and painful nostalgia from a mile away and fuck, was it contagious.  
Me and Simon go way back, every cunt round here knows it an' av takin' a beating from him once or twice but ah fuckin' love the guy. If ah dug reet back intae ol' photo albums, you'd see fuckin' loads of shite with our faces on. Two innocent little bastards; didnae know what this world would give 'em. An' as we grew older, our bond only continued to grow stronger an' stronger. Whatever ah would do, Si would do, an' if Simon were to do summat, ahd follow suit.

"Ah remember everything, Rent Boy. Absolutely fuckin' everything; where it all fuckin' started," Sick Boy tells me. "Two wee boys, close as anything, like two peas in a fuckin' pod."  
If it were anyone else, ah would've started proper bawling, but it wasnae. We were so-called hard cunts. The closest we ever got to creetin' was jus' a little bit misty eyed.  
"Swanney, ah never met the cunt before but there we were, at this guy's door an' about to buy our first hit. Our first score." Ah continued our pathway of meaningful nostalgia. Felt like the cunt was robbin' me dry at the time but ah was actually short of cash so fuck knows why he gave us this stash of heroin. Two skinny little fuckers; he could've twatted us down quite easily, especially as being that small and young and naive as 'ell. Ah don't know, must have liked us. Poor guy.  
"Aye, Swanney. God rest 'is soul. He snuffed it a few years back. Fuck knows what from; no one bothered to tell me; nae that it really matters now, eh?" Simon remembers.  
"Ah'd be surprised if he weren't, Si. Cunt had been at the skag for way longer than any of us. Probably got t'virus or summat."  
Simon sniffs (not cocaine, for once, jus' the air), "Anyway, our first hit. Didnae have a lot of the stuff, an' besides, we only 'ad one needle."  
Ah remember this as clear as a blue fuckin' sky wit no air pollution. To this day, am still surprised that Sick Boy shared a needle, his first time. HIV and AIDS were an epidemic, well, even more so at the time anyway. An' we were ignorant but we weren't that fuckin' ignorant. Ye wouldnae catch Sick Boy doin' a thing like that now, cunt was too careful nowadays, especially wit what happened to Tommy.  
"You went first, ah remember. An' ah went right fuckin' after ya," Simon's in deep thought an' looks reet aht me. "Your blood, Mark, runs deep in mah veins. Think about that; think o' me as your brother, one that you never had, an' probably never wanted."  
It's reached a point intae t'conversation where either one of us should be crying buh like ah said: so-called hard cunts.

T'conversation went a bit lighter after that; otherwise ah think we might 'ad started proper creetin'. Simon had told me about a few weeks ago that he, Spud and the Beggar 'ad been on a mental night out, tryna get on wid some burds; Begbie had taken the lead, the other two were followin' wherever he said they were goin'. Didnae realise where they were until Franco got pulled by a very some cunt o' the opposite sex.  
"Really?" Ah exclaim, "Begbie really took ya to a gay bar?"  
"Aye. Ye wouldnae o' thought it. Yea, there were a few guys in drag or whatever but ah thought, ya know. Me an Spud jus thought it were a laugh," Simon tells me. "Franco were alright wid it until he took her owtside an' werenae a she at all. His dick were bigger than Frank's, ah heard."  
"No fookin' way," Ah canny keep a smirk off mah face.  
"Been deed funny ever since though; wouldnae say he hated them before buh ever since that night he's been dead weird," Simon says. "Spud were watchin' that drag race show the other night an' Franco threw a fuckin' fit."  
Ah came up wit a fuckin' master plan jus there and then, jus to wind Begbie up. Didnae think Sick boy would agree wit me at first buh he was on the same wavelength as ah was.  
Quite a few times it happened, where me and Simon were jus goin' aboot our business an' some cunt genuinely thought we were screwin'. Seriously, they actually thought we were. Ah didnae mind; ah wasn't Begbie, ah didnae care about that sort o' thing. Simon didnae gi' a shite either. This one time though, we did play on it a bit. These big cunts; we knew they were hardcore homophobes, ah didnae hate 'em because o' that. There were other reasons why ah hated them buh that was jus the tip o' t'fuckin' iceberg. Ah nudged Simon's shoulder and held onto his hand, lookin' all lovey dovey an' shite. Pissed 'em off, so it did. Ah don't even know why; it's love at the end o' the day. Ah didnae get mah cock oot an' shove it reet in some other cunt's arsehole an' even if ah did why do people get so disgusted by it? Fuck knows.

So that was the plan; our plan to really piss Begbie off. We practiced a wee bit first, so it looked natural, like we werenae forcin' it. Simon tries restin' his 'ead on me shoulder an' nibbling at mah ear. He's surprisingly good at it, not only that but we fit really well, the way he does it.  
"Like a puzzle piece," Si whispers, a wee bit seductively. Honestly it nearly sends me over the edge, my stomach is spinnin' on its heed and honest to God I could fuck this guy into next week if he really wanted to.  
Ah turn around an' our mouths become connected. Ahm a bit surprised that Simon didnae freak out and push me away but nay, here we are. A run me fingers through Si's bleached blonde hair. Both our breathing's gettin' pretty fookin' heavy; no wonder when neither of us or our mouths are coming up and out for air. We chuck ourselves onty t'settee, still not stopping our make out session.  
Sick Boy fumbles and fiddles, trying to undo mah belt buckle; fuck, things are heating up pretty damn quickly. Am not gonny stop 'im though. Mah own fingers go towards Simon's an' I help him undo my jean buttons and unzip them. My hand is around Simon's wrist and his hand is edging nearer and nearer towards my cock. He eventually grips it tight pulling and tugging at it. I don't know how he got so fucking good at it but ah wasnae gonny ask 'im about it now. He then, whilst still gripping it, starts licking my cock, really gettin' in there wid 'is tongue. Sucking at it; mah knob is so far in his mouth, near his throat buh he hasnae even gagged once. Cunt 'as done this before, ah thought to masel. Ahm havin' the fuckin' time o' me life; mah moanin' is turnin' Simon on. An' his tongue wrappin' itself around mah dick, God it's deffo turnin' me fookin' on. Ah try nibblin' on his ear again in between moans. Neither of us heard the scuffling of keys or those keys turnin' in the lock or the footsteps of a man who had just caught two lads noshing each other off.

"Oh mah fookin' gawd!" He ran away before me or Simon could see who it was, an' Si were absolutely shitein' 'imself.  
"Fuck. Were that Begbie? Shite, how we gonny explain to 'im that eet were jus a joke?" Simon asks, panicked.  
"Jesus, didnae feel like a joke from where ahm sittin'," I laugh at him.  
Simon gets up from the settee angrily and straightens 'imsel up.  
"For fucks sake, Mark."  
Simon storms out t'door an' ah jus grim as he leaves. Ah turn on t'telly and try to relax. Try to take in exactly wit jus happened.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello. sorry about the long, long, long, long, long, long wait. It's hard writing when also juggling a job, crippling anxiety and writer's block. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter.

Ah fookin' leg it oot t'flat as fast as me wee legs could take me. Don't really know where am goin' but I don't care. Ahm no sayin' that it offended me or anythin' but Jesus, ah were no expecting tha' at all. A mean, ah knew Si and Rents were good mates an'all buh fuckin' 'ell, where's the line? A know mesel av 'ad a couple o' good mates who 'av done me a favour and av jokingly said that ad shag 'em but I ken an they ken that a were jus' jokin'.  
Ahm dreedin' goin' back to the flat noo. Not because of Si and Rents an' them screwin' but because of the way ah ran out on them. Ah couldnae bear t'look a 'em in the eye. They're probably gonna think ahm a reet homophobe or summat. Am no. I ken Begbie is buh we all ken that. A couldnae give a fook who ye shag, unless it's an animal. Or a wee bairn. Or a Tory.  
I s'pose ah some point I'll av'ty go back to 'em. Try to 'splain. Maybe they'll understand. Ye not a homophobic cunt, Spud. Ye jus' walked in to two lads havin' a go on each other's cocks. Any cunt would 'av ran away from that.

Ah turn on ma heel slowly and proceed on a pathetic an' embarrassing walk back to the flat.

_______________________________________________

Me an' Sick Boy would probably be freakin' the fook oot now if we both weren't so incredibly hammered. It's what we've always done: block unavoidable shite oot. Except 20 odd years ago we would've done it with heroin. Now we jus' do it with hard liquor.  
We're talkin' over aboot wit jus happened an' neither of us have a fookin' clue. Ahm wondering who it were who caught us in the act which is pretty fuckin' stupid because it could've only been either Spud or Begbie.  
Am brickin' it if it were Begs who caught us buh then again, why? Me and Sick Boy's entire plan was to disgust Franco with our new fake sexual relationship. Nah ah'd be downright gutted actually; that would've been game over and ah would've got to piss Begbie off. The thought of it really upset us both. It's Spud ah feel sorry for if it's 'im. Probably gave the wee lad fookin' post traumatic stress disorder with wit he would've walked in on. Poor cunt. Still, rather it be him than the Beggar.

"Simon? Simon?" Ah try an wake the daft cunt up but am 'avin none of it for at least 20 minutes when he finally awakens.  
"Aye, the wild beast fookin' FINALLY awakens from 'is slumber," Simon turns to face me angrily at my remark.  
"Anyway," he says, still quite drunk. "Any idea aboot who it was who walked in us while we were...ya know," Simon starts miming sucking cock with his hands an' ahm this close to knockin' 'im oot there an' then.  
I sigh loudly, "Fuck knows, might've been Begbie. Could've been Spud. Ah don't know. Neither of 'em 'av come back yet.  
"Shite," Simon puts his head in his hands. "If it were Begbie, ah think I might genuinely kill masel. Also that ‘pretendin' that we're gay` game we're playin' is pretty much game over if it's 'im."  
"Exactly what ah wis thinkin'," I say.  
Ah giz a greet big sigh an' ah put ma heed in ma hands.  
_______________________________________________

Me an' Simon are downin' our sorrows at Port Sunshine and thinkin' how we're gonna put what had jus' happened inty words. Fuck knows if it's the Beggar. Slightly easier if it's Spud. Ah hope it's Spud. Spud never judges anyone.  
"Aye, Rents. Ah say we jus ignore the whole thing. Pretend like it never happened. Confuse 'em tae fuck, ya ken?" Simon suggests, an' ah proper wish he hadn't.  
This cunt has nae ideas whatsoever.  
Ah sigh in annoyance an roll me eyes, "Si, tha' is the most fookin' stupid thing that's ever come oot of your mouth."  
"Could work though," He sais from his side of the bar.  
Fuck, he's probably right, the cunt. Ah take a long sip of ma pint and long tae jus skydive in ma glass an' drown in it.  
It's awful quiet in 'ere. Well, was quiet. Spud marches reet in and walks on up to us both, proper nervous like which makes me irritatingly paranoid masel.  
"Aye, Spud," Ah say.  
Spud jus stands there an' leans his body weight on the bar. He's lookin' a wee bit pale an'all.  
"Ya alright, Spud. Ye lookin' a bit.." Simon asks, his face scrunches up to show discomfort.  
"Ahm fine, Si. Just feel a bit shite, ye ken," Spud sais, his voice still sounds shaky noo.  
Av got sweat drippin' errywhere: ma face, ma chest, ma limbs. Fuck, av even got sweat drippin down ma balls. Av got war flashbacks tae when ah wis comin' off skag cold turkey. Shite. But ahm gonna jus' gonny go an' come oot wit it. Am no even lookin' at Sick Boy. Fuck that.  
Ah cough a wee bit tae clear ma throat, "So Spud. Me an' Simon 'ad this fun idea, jus came up wit it tae other day, right."  
"Mark, no," Simon says far too quietly fer anyone to hear 'im.  
"Simon was tellin' me aboot that night out you, 'im and Franco 'ad. Ye remember?"  
Spud frantically shakes his head.  
"Frank pulled a bloke an' didnae realise til he more or less 'ad his cock in his grasp," Simon continues."  
Spud nods his heed now.  
"Reet, well, since that pissed 'im off tae fuck. Wit me and Simon were thinkin', maybe we could pretend that we 'ad a little bromance thing goin' off, ya ken?" Ah try an' explain, like it's the most normal thing in the world.  
Something ticks in Spuds heed, "Aye, I get ya," He grins. "So that thing back in tae flat. Wis that jus practice then?"  
Simon not only nearly drops his pint on tae floor but he chokes on it. He splutters an' coughs an' ah try an' not tae laugh. Thank fuck fer that. Av never felt so relieved in ma life.  
"So it was you who caught us doing...that," Ah say.  
"Doin' each other, more like, das wit it looked like," But Spud jus giggles afterwards.

So Spud's now on board with tae plan. Not that there's any particular plan. Jus act as gay as possible an' wind Franco up. Until he breaks both of our noses anyway. Canny fookin' wait.


End file.
